so I had someone ask me a very interesting question...

"Jay why do you act so Prude toward people when everyone loves you so much?"
My response? "Why? they all may love me but how many really care? If I really needed something, How many would actually be there? I am happy to be loved and love right back but sometimes people just don't know how to act...

I am not a horrible person. I try to be as polite as I can be. I treat females with the utmost respect. I give respect to the Guys who earned it. I can honestly I have a hand full of people that I can say I can honestly trust and count on. Females say they are here for me but when I turn for a shoulder to lean on she is chasing a man we both know is no good for her. I try to be there for her but she continually shows me these guys she think is the right one and I just laugh. this not just one female in my life, its 2 or 3. I have a female in my life that would make me hubby in a half a heart beat. I have a woman in my life that puts me before anything else and I don't know why. She has been through the ups and downs by me. She will not leave my side though. Its kind of amazing. The only guy I can say is there for me when ever I need him is currently caught up dealing with his kids and their ups and downs. I think its his way to deal with his inability to understand the thought process that I go through on a regular basis.

So in my life I have:
Gabriel
Harley Quinn
Black Kanary
My Taino Woman
The Twinns

The New additions:
My Wonderman- Now this girl seems to ne perfect. She is strong willed, Feisty, Protective, Outgoing and she is drop dead gorgeous. I try to find her flaws but it seems that she has none. She seems to have everything in order. She knows what she wants. She knows how she wants it... and I can't help but be drawn to it.

Louis Lane- What can I say about this one... She is the beautiful intellectual type that looks past the Nerd by her side and looks for the dashing Superman. I feel like Kent trying to tell her that the image of a man that she is looking for is really something I am but she insists on chasing the image. I try over and over and she keeps me close to her heart but is out looking for that thrill. I guess I shall Let her do so because I cannot change her Views.

sometimes I try to understand all these people but I just go with the flow...

That's all you can do right???

The Boy Wonder Signing off...

J

So I keep coming across these questions between myself and that other person in your head people call the "conscious."
These Questions always seems to be tabled for another discussion and held off until next meeting and always Left as old business.

The questions that seem to always come to mind is who am I?
Where am I going with this?
What am I doing with my life?
Why do I such dumb things?

I have come to the Answer of the question who. Who am I?
I am the guy who brings smiles to people's faces. The guy who is always wanted around.
I am the guy who says outlandish things and gets away with it.
I am the guy ladies can't help but to adore and guys can't help but hate to be around. I am a lost cause on a road to lead to uncertainty.
A man with no plan, no map, no compass, giving the finger to the road less traveled and swinging through vines and trees to find my own groove to the beat.
I am the guy who when out of sight is usually out of mind. A guy adored by many, liked by many more but only truly loved by a handful.
I'm the guy who you think is the perfect guy but really messed up and aspire to be half the man people think I am.
I am the healer during time of need and fade into the distance to figure out how to heal myself once your wing has mended.
I am the guy with the other perspective on life but couldn't tell you why he can't stop himself from doing illogical things.

The other Questions?
Easy...
What am I doing with my life? No clue, riding the waves until I'm brought to a shore that feels right.
Where am I going with this? Just feeling out the rhythms that come from my heart and catch the beat to the right path.
Why do I do such dumb things? Because learning not to repeat them is the purpose of the action to begin with.

I think it all fits into place.
There is no complicated answer to me. I am what you see.
No mysteries and clouded mirrors. I am what I am.
All who I can Be.



J.

-The Boy wonder Signing Off

A random dream of an old Young Man...

Day after day, night after crisp cold night
I stare out my window wondering what's outside.
What can be waiting for me so it can happen
What can I do to make this world a better place.
Pondering of these thoughts birth ideas and dreams...

Ideas and dreams that if it were to come alive and let all the hope buried deep inside trying to release itself and make my world a brighter day.
I end up at a desk trying to draw or write a way.
Trying to make a path to this feeling deep inside and I sit and stare at the red ink on the paper
but its not... Its the blood from my hand because I'm holding onto then pen so tight
hoping that if I keep writing and drawing my dreams will come alive and won't have to worry about what I feel inside.
Cuz by then I would understand that what I dream can come to life If I just believe...

The balance of my unbalanced life

Over the last few weeks many new thoughts have run through my mind. Thoughts of lust, love, affection, emotions and situations in which surround me.

I find myself feeling very close to many people. People at times I think want to throw me off a building but still we stand beside me through my lowest times. People I genuinely love. There are some people I have come across that I would lay some good sex down on but choose not to because it is not within my nature to just run through people's lives in order to get my nut.

The list

I have these people who I find in my life make it all better:


-The Arc Angel Gabriel

I have my arc angel Gabriel who is there for me when I do the dumbest things and the brightest.
My Gabriel Watches over me with a silent eye and whispers word of guidance to keep me straight


- Harley Quinn

Harley is the Girl in my life who no matter how much she gets on your nerves, you can't help but keep close by your side. She does tricks, stunts and back flips just to keep a smile on my face. She is a woman that I would go to the end of the universe and back for just to keep her close.

-Black Canary

A lady who is vocal about EVERYTHING I do. She is the sweetest thing in the world to me. A true ride or die Woman. She would fight the demons of Hell if it meant spending 30 seconds in my arms.
I would fight the Devil himself in order to keep her from pain.
She would come my defence and take care of anyone who means harm against me.

-My Taino Woman

A Truly tough Gale who takes crap from no one, but is weakened by my honesty and compassion.
If it meant telling me or Saint Peter at the gate she would ask to talk to me. I don't quite know why.
I feel she could be a woman to set me straight with a smack and make it up with a kiss.
Even though she probably would never openly admit it.


- The Twins

Although I have just met them I see it becoming the beginning of a beautiful bond. They piss me the hell off but I don't think there is anything within reason that I wouldn't do for them.
For some reason they look up to me and I feel obligated to be there for them.
They remind me of myself for some reason. They have there ups and downs but I can tell they will stick it out in the end

With all of these people in my life I find I have the these ghosts. Ghosts that haunt me and follow me where ever I go.
They leave clues and reminders of their existence. Just when I forget about them they make sure to dig deep and remind of what came of them.
Ghosts that won't go away. I try to ignore them in hopes that if I do it long enough they will disappear.
In the end its clear though that with out those ghosts my life would be an uneven balance and all the good I bad would not truly appreciated if my ghosts were not there...

So I wear my heart on my sleeve wit an iron-clad box around in order to be me. I am a person who is self protected but a free spirit.
Thoughts from trivial people are meaningless to me. Now I must stop judging myself in order to make life more then just content, in order to make me happy...


-Boy wonder Signing off

A Father's Shadow...

As a young boy you are expected to look up to your father and want to be the perfect son to impress your him. Your father is suppose to be a shinning example of how to act and hold yourself. A model father would play catch with his son and teach him the ropes of just being a rambunctious little kid. He should be there through your ups, downs and everything in between.

Growing up as a kid I had no father figure. I had my mother who worked three jobs and was rarely home, two older brothers who ran the streets of Brooklyn being the kids they were, my aunts who had their own kids to worry about and older cousins who paid me no mind and never gave me the time of day because I was just too small. So where did that leave me? It left me as a quiet young child who wanted some attention but at such a young age I would just get in the way. So I always found some way to occupy my time. Reading the same book over and over, watching the same movies over and over, playing inside a cardboard box and pretending to be some where doing very adventerous things and all the while content with what I was doing.

Growing up I always knew who my father was. The man who sent pictures to us from place. The person my mother loved. the person my brothers despised. The man who couldn't wait to meet me. Until my teenage years I never really understood what all that was. As a child I looked like my father and everyone helped I didnt become him. Until I actually saw whaat my father was like I didnt get this concept.

It is not a good feeling to feel helpless while a man who is suppose to be a role model to you abuses your mother, forces your brothers further and futher away from you because they want you to have a father but dont want anything to do with him. Being confused because your family smiles in your father's face and say he is good for nothing behind his back.

The older i get the more I fear I may become him. There is an anger in me that I fear I may one day not be able to control. i watched my brothers have that aggresiveness of my mother and I have seen what they can do. I being a combination of the two puts me in a spot where I am not quite sure what I would do if I lost control. I try to be the best man I can be by respecting females and trying to stay away from being dependent of them. I try to help my mother out within reason without feeling like a slave. I try to stay connected with my brothers and for the rest of my family... they could kick rocks and fall off a cliff for all I care.

I live my life a day at a time and I try to keep in mind that I am not my father, because I am his offspring I will NOT be a mess like him. I will not take advantage of others and treat them like they don't matter. I know the world doesn't revolve around me( although I wish it could at times) My father was a Dick and is now lonely and god only knows what he i sup to right now but I know I have people in my life who care about me and who are there for me.

People say you need a father figure in a boy's life or he will end up a thug in the street up to no good. Look at me though...level headed, loved, and doing something with my life. My mother and brothers kept me on the path. I'm not perfect and I know I have my faults, but at the end of the day I can be proud of what I see in the mirror and no longer live in my father's Shadow

The Boy Wonder Signing off...

Couch-Capades

Now we all have our little likes, dislikes and things that we do on a regular basis. I have come across one of these in which I found very interesting and figured I would share.

I am sure many of you have grown up into the people you are now because of the things you have done, didn't do or thought of doing. I came across a story of a pair of two very interesting people who we shall say are from two very different aspects of life with much in common and things of difference few and far between. These two people came together purely by chance and ended up in bed together...well actually the couch. Now you would think it was a wild and raunchy sex-capade but in fact it was a very sensual yet sexual act that put these two people in a predicament they would have never imagined.

Now I look at this story and laugh only because it is a story that anyone could fall into. It is a story of casual flirting to an extreme. And taken to a point where most would not dare venture. A place where even this boy wonder can not even fathom going to and not holding back from running to my trusty pack and getting the golden (or whichever color I pull out first) package to save the day.

Replaying the story in my head I see where the logic in this is but doesn't quite understand how it didn't go as far as the norm of society would have taken it. I say what is wrong with casualty in all that you do from shopping to bedroom (or whatever room you prefer) fun??? I know a Teacher of exceptional standards that would agree with me on this point.

So sensuality for Sexual pleasure, a trade I guess after much thought I would have to agree with. After all I am only the Boy wonder...far too young to have younger Boy Wonders running around. I rather not have them at all but many feel this Boy Wonder would be a great inspiration to younger ones (Yeah Okay) but alas, opinions are like Buttholes... Everyone has one.

Boy wonder signing off...

the Lime Light

Ever feel like your an attention grabber although you dont' mean to be??? Ever feel that people come to you for advice and a shoulder to cry on??? Ever been that person who is loved by all but felt like your the loneliest person in the Universe.

some people always say that I am lucky to have so many people around me who care. i thank them for it and say "yeah I am lucky" but alot of times I cam only count a hand full of people that I can say actually care about anything that has to do with me. People see me and then I am loved but once I am gone its as simple as the saying "out of sight, out of mind." So what are you to do when you are always thought of and you are expected to keep up an image that people have of you???

It is said that with great power comes great responsibilty... Ain't that the truth. When you have the power to command attention with ease you then have to learn to entertain those whose attention you have captured. At my young age I have learned to entertain and then disssappear out of sight in order to go into my own little bubble of reality. Lately though I have found myself expected to entertain multiple people and various times, for rather large amounts of time. It is physically draining but I continue to do it because I care for these indiviuals. I pull every trick in the book to keep things going but I running out of routines and fast. I can only go on but for so long.

So what do you do when you are the center of attention and you are standing there with your cock in your hand lookin like a jackass because you are completely lost in absolute eye of the bubble of a world you live in??? Who knows, I have been known to work Miracles but there is only but so much magic up my sleeve that i can pull out before I start running on fumes.

Acrobatics, stand up comedy, pies to the face, juggling,practical jokes, amazing and dangerous stunts and an act with dangerous live animals. the list goes on and on but eventually it all ends. so what then???

-the Boy wonder signing off

I'm Only One Man

I look at myself in the mirror every morning and ask myself who am I? What is my purpose on this Earth? Why am I loved by so many and hated by even more? People go there whoole lives searching for that one thing that makes them happy. I have things that make me happy I just don't understand why. My arrogance can be over whelming at times, even for me. I find myself being very self centered. I step back and look at my self from an outside perspective and still see an incomplete man. No matter how I try to see it, I cant see what everyone else sees. Photo after photo, video after video, story after story I find myself getting an image of a person I don't know.

As I look back on the last few months, i find myself stratched thin... I find i try to make every one happy in hopes of everything one day working itself out, but it seems my determination to do womething good is dragging me deeper and deeper into a hole. A very close person made a metaphor about Getting switzedrland to go to war with you knowing it is and always will be a neutral country. This is how it feels. Better words were never spoken. No matter how hard I try to make everyone happy, the more and more aggitated everyone gets because they dont have my complete attention. So now I have tried to juggle being almost everywhere at one and still no matter how hard i try, its never enough.

When I just spend time with someone who truely is fun to be around people start to complain that I am never around anymore and my pressence is then requested. So I agree to keep the peacebut then all I hear is complaints. So what to do??? Should I just hide under a set of stairs and do my own thing until everyone forgets I was ever there??? will that ever be an option??? Will I ever be able like Ne-yo and fade into the Background??? What to do??? I have accepted that I am the one who has the power to bring people together and even under arguements. So why can't I have the power to make sure everyone is satisfied???

Trying to be everything everyone else wants me to be, but at the end of the day....


Im Only One Man

Boy Wonder Singing off...

lyfe

oh what to do, what to do. sometimes I sit and wonder about the things I put myself through and just wonder why I do it. I mean people constantly ask me why i don't chase girls or why am I still single or why am I like other guys. All of this is for the same reason. It's just not me. I do things my way and thats how it is. Chasing girls is something arrogant guys do, guys who treat feamles like property. Acting like dogs marking their territory even though they really can't claim it as their own because it's not really theirs. I am single because the females who want me are too young for my taste and the females I want let the idea of my age get in the way of everything. I am not like other guys because i understand the mind of a female. I know the ineer workings that make them know what they want and what they dont want. i know how to get them to make a choice between doing what their head says and their heart. I know how to warm the heart and have it to a point where it is willing to open up to let me in.

After all of this why am I the way I am. My past, the past of my loved ones and the repeating history of minorities makes me the way I am. I refuse to continue the abusive cycle of being an asshole and having girls chase me because of it. If females won't realize that guys like that aren't good for them, well I shall stay silent and wait until they run to me for comfort. When they sdo I shall be there but when they see who iI am then i shall respectfully bow away and leave them to ponder on what they just miss.

I have been told constantly I am too nice. The thing people don't realize is not that I am too nice, it is the fact that guys in general are too much of assholes and that is the norm that is expected. I you knew me though u would know I am not the norm. I laugh at the norm and walk down my own path. I do not follow the road less travelled. That would mean that i would have to follow the steps of others. I would rather do it myself and make it to my destination in my own way.

To my beautiful and lovely belle. I know I am an idiot for not just listening to you but I am who I am. Would love me if i wasn't. better yet would you love me any other way? i have watched you and i realize that around me your thought process stops and you just stall. You are caught by how I act. I feel that you are attracted to me because of this. You find it a great new breeze of fresh air. when i look at you I see something I haven't seen i n a long while. I just don't want you to point your attention to me because of it. Don't get me wrong I love that you do it, but I want you to do it because you are sure that is what makes you happy. Every time i turn around another guy chases you but you still at the end of the day run to me. This blows my mind because I always wait and watch, I look for the next guy in your life that im going to have to put into place because you will run to me crying about his idiot moves. It never happens though because you are always by my side, always holding on to me. I love it. I just feel you keep yourself at a distance though because you are scared of what is to come if you actually give in. I have told you this and always will tell you this, no matter what you will always have me here for that. no matter the choices you make.

Lyfe is what you make it. So as I think of myne I realize I have nothing to regret. Although I didn't have a freshmen year and I shall probably won't remember the rest of my College Lyfe I look foward to the Great Mis-adventures of the Greek Family

-The Boy Wonder

Bedroom Talk

I think it is about time a guy tells the world what everything is that goes through both minds of each sex. Now in every situation you must realize that there is two points of view, the feminine side and the masculine side... although sometimes these intertwine with one another. For some Reason females feel that guys hide there emotions and hold back from them. The honest truth is that guys are not as emotionally built as females are. We are built to feel emotions and go through them but they dissappear and we move on... most of the time. Females tend to ignore emotions and think about what went on and build up different emotions on top of that with theories and thoughts that cloud judgement. I dont say this and mean that guys are not guilty of the same thing but this usaually occurs when he feels guilty about something or feels he has no control over what is happening.

To the guys of the world that think just because you are commiting the act and you think she is having a great time, stop and think. They usually make the faces to bring up your confidence and hopefully will get you to do it right. Ladies I know it may akward but sometimes guidence in the bed is not a bad thing. Many guys are guessing and are just going by what they think they know. If you guide it might be more exciting for the both of you. Its one feeling to be in you and then there is the feeling of your insides doing backflips and cart wheels overjoyed. That being said fellas pay more attention to her and less about yourself. In the long run holding back on a nut or... 3 might have her on you every second of everyday. Once she has gotten that toe curling experience it will never be forgotten.

P.S.
To both sides of the species... Foreplay was invented for a reason. Ladies if you think your man is too quick, help him work out that first shot. It is the bodies natural instinct to approcriate. So once he gets that out he can stop worrying about holding it in and worry about making you scream like an Opera singer. Fellas, its not all about getting yours, make sure she gets hers too. make sure if you have one she has two or three. It may sound impossible but if you pay attention to how she moves, when she is in the swing of it she will guide you with her body. Shifting, pulling, pushing and other body movements will get you there.

Now go make some bad lyfe choices...

The Boy Wonder Signing off...