I was once asked why I do so much for the females in my life. I was asked why I choose to give my undivided attention to the many females who go in and out of my life. Am I scared of commitment, afraid of being hurt. After a long search for the answers to these questions I came to this conclusion:
I am who I am for a reason. I love women for who they are and not for what they offer me. I am man who sees the beauty in the women around him. I find the perfection in the women who see nothing but imperfection within themselves. I am the safety blanket I am man should be to a woman. I strive to make sure the women in my life smile and have happiness, even for a brief moment.
I am not afraid of commitment. I commit myself to the women in my life everyday that I wake up with the mind set that I will not be the man to hurt a women and leave broken. I love every woman that opens themselves up to me to show me the hurting person hiding behind the image of a strong and unhurt woman.
I listen to the stories that haunt the women I have grown to love. They have taught me that love comes in many ways and forms. Love and sex may mingle but they don't have to exist together. I aim to please as a man should. Instead of looking for his nut and his nut alone.
I do for the women in my life because the men around them refuse to. I sacrifice myself to know that I made a woman smile. I made a difference in her life. Although it may have been in passing or over years in time, I know I can say that I helped her through her troubled past. I was there when no one else saw her tears behind the smile. We all have a purpose. Mine is to uplift the women who cross paths with me, to make a women feels she deserves more then what is set before her. I set the highest standards for myself in hopes that females aim for a man better then me.
I am a man hurt by a women scorned. I am a man who carries the stories of the women hurt by the men they loved. I am imperfect.
I do the things I do not to avoid a relationship. I do it to forge new ones with the women who need a man not interested in one thing.
I am the man who is everything his father wasn't and everything is mother wanted me to be.
-Boy Wonder growing up a day at a Time...
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Brooklyn Talk: The Opposite Sex
I have lived my life always seeing things through the eyes of both a man and a female. I have tried to be very Subjective to my thoughts in order to be a better man and better understand the on goings of a female's intellect. Last night, I had a very long talk with a few of my frat brothers and it hit me, many guys out there have no clue as to what to do with their life, girl and emotions. So i felt that I had to share a few thoughts with my fellow half of the species as well shed some light on the inner workings of a man's brain for the ladies.
TO THE MEN:
First and foremost, Communication is Key. Set rules off the bat. This the down fall of ALL Men who don't announce their intentions. Just because you think she knows how you feel doesn't mean she actually knows what you are thinking. The difference between men and women are women NEED Titles in order to justify their actions. This is why females always ask if you have a 'girl that you are talking to' or 'Am I just another girl you are trying to have sex with?' If you are sleeping with a female and spending time with her, you may think you are just friends with sex on the side but she most likely thinks you are her next man. She will want the label of your girlfriend. When this happens, she will expect more from you. So if you don't want to end up one day with her stuff in your dresser, SAY SOMETHING.
Second, Leading females on to sex and leaving, not the best choice in the world. I have learned that the world is a small place and females talk. So be honest. If you think she is hot and you would love to bed her, let her know that is where you see it leading and no further. If she isn't with it, chalk it up as a loss and keep it moving. We are out numbered by females 4 to 1; There is plenty to pick from. If you don't know where you want it to go, say so. Females may say they know everything but if you do not put your word in, they will do it for you in their mind and set goals for what THEY want.
If a female isn't interested, she wouldn't deal with you; if she deals with you, chances are she is interested. She will always show signs that she may not be aware of. body gestures such as twirling her hair, smiling when she looks at you, turning her face when you look at her for long periods of time. AT THIS POINT it is your job to calm her nerves and make her feel comfortable. This DOES NOT mean you should try and make a sexual Move. If you play your cards right, she will do that by herself.
Something I learned at the age of 7 which has helped me Greatly with women. Learn to LISTEN! What she rambles about may not interest you but just put that time in and pay attention to her gestures, the words she uses and the looks she makes as she describes things. Just because she says something DOES NOT mean she is telling you the truth. her body language and tone of voice will always tell you what you need to know. Details like this are important to keeping a woman interested. She may give you a chance but if you drop the ball, you will be left holding yourself with your pants down and confused as to why you are alone.
TO WOMEN:
The words to you are simple. Men need three things: Food, entertainment and sex. Yes, its that simple. We try to act like it but we cant read minds. You tell us you hate doing things or something is wrong, we will try to fix it. Its what we do. So just remember a few simple rules.
1) Stroke our ego. You appease us, we are going to melt. No matter how thug the man. If you cater to his ego, there is no limit you cant reach.
2)SPEAK UP! We can not read minds. If you want something, you want to advance the relationship, slow it down, try something, don't hint at it, SAY IT! Otherwise we are blind and in the dark.
3)Be Patient. We are only human. No man is perfect no matter how many qualities he has on your check list. If you know you want something from him, put the time in and don't expect him to know what you want from him off top.
If you didnt know, Now you know
-Boy wonder off yet again
TO THE MEN:
First and foremost, Communication is Key. Set rules off the bat. This the down fall of ALL Men who don't announce their intentions. Just because you think she knows how you feel doesn't mean she actually knows what you are thinking. The difference between men and women are women NEED Titles in order to justify their actions. This is why females always ask if you have a 'girl that you are talking to' or 'Am I just another girl you are trying to have sex with?' If you are sleeping with a female and spending time with her, you may think you are just friends with sex on the side but she most likely thinks you are her next man. She will want the label of your girlfriend. When this happens, she will expect more from you. So if you don't want to end up one day with her stuff in your dresser, SAY SOMETHING.
Second, Leading females on to sex and leaving, not the best choice in the world. I have learned that the world is a small place and females talk. So be honest. If you think she is hot and you would love to bed her, let her know that is where you see it leading and no further. If she isn't with it, chalk it up as a loss and keep it moving. We are out numbered by females 4 to 1; There is plenty to pick from. If you don't know where you want it to go, say so. Females may say they know everything but if you do not put your word in, they will do it for you in their mind and set goals for what THEY want.
If a female isn't interested, she wouldn't deal with you; if she deals with you, chances are she is interested. She will always show signs that she may not be aware of. body gestures such as twirling her hair, smiling when she looks at you, turning her face when you look at her for long periods of time. AT THIS POINT it is your job to calm her nerves and make her feel comfortable. This DOES NOT mean you should try and make a sexual Move. If you play your cards right, she will do that by herself.
Something I learned at the age of 7 which has helped me Greatly with women. Learn to LISTEN! What she rambles about may not interest you but just put that time in and pay attention to her gestures, the words she uses and the looks she makes as she describes things. Just because she says something DOES NOT mean she is telling you the truth. her body language and tone of voice will always tell you what you need to know. Details like this are important to keeping a woman interested. She may give you a chance but if you drop the ball, you will be left holding yourself with your pants down and confused as to why you are alone.
TO WOMEN:
The words to you are simple. Men need three things: Food, entertainment and sex. Yes, its that simple. We try to act like it but we cant read minds. You tell us you hate doing things or something is wrong, we will try to fix it. Its what we do. So just remember a few simple rules.
1) Stroke our ego. You appease us, we are going to melt. No matter how thug the man. If you cater to his ego, there is no limit you cant reach.
2)SPEAK UP! We can not read minds. If you want something, you want to advance the relationship, slow it down, try something, don't hint at it, SAY IT! Otherwise we are blind and in the dark.
3)Be Patient. We are only human. No man is perfect no matter how many qualities he has on your check list. If you know you want something from him, put the time in and don't expect him to know what you want from him off top.
If you didnt know, Now you know
-Boy wonder off yet again
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Strength
I was once asked. "How do you keep your head up & stand so strong in the worst of times"
I have reflected upon this question & found an answer. I keep my head up by looking to the sky & praying for an answer or a sign. I keep my head high to avoid letting people be able to see the sorrow & fear in my eyes. I stand strong by breaking down in secret. Letting the emotions out into a page or into a bucket of tears. I then build myself up & no longer hold onto what has hurt or scared. Instead I place it aside to remind of me of what I must keep away from. I hide
my insecurity under a ever glowing grin. Thinking of a time once upon a time.
Living a life far past my equals I struggle to find the balance.
Reaching for that dream painted by the women who molded me. Looking for the path in which the told me of. The one set down a long & winding way to a city of eternal contentment. A place few find & many search for. I thought I was given the secret to find it. But now
I only see that the stories in which I was told are only a dream to something not there. Instead it is a place of sublime quiet & peace. Full of smiles & hugs. It is not a long & winding road. It is the
place in which I am now. Contentment has been found. People may throw rocks & slander thoughts but my world is resolute. It can't be dissolved. It is a canvas that has been etched into perfection & shall never fade as long as I see it that way.
Head high.chin up. Standing Strong.
The boy wonder signing off
I have reflected upon this question & found an answer. I keep my head up by looking to the sky & praying for an answer or a sign. I keep my head high to avoid letting people be able to see the sorrow & fear in my eyes. I stand strong by breaking down in secret. Letting the emotions out into a page or into a bucket of tears. I then build myself up & no longer hold onto what has hurt or scared. Instead I place it aside to remind of me of what I must keep away from. I hide
my insecurity under a ever glowing grin. Thinking of a time once upon a time.
Living a life far past my equals I struggle to find the balance.
Reaching for that dream painted by the women who molded me. Looking for the path in which the told me of. The one set down a long & winding way to a city of eternal contentment. A place few find & many search for. I thought I was given the secret to find it. But now
I only see that the stories in which I was told are only a dream to something not there. Instead it is a place of sublime quiet & peace. Full of smiles & hugs. It is not a long & winding road. It is the
place in which I am now. Contentment has been found. People may throw rocks & slander thoughts but my world is resolute. It can't be dissolved. It is a canvas that has been etched into perfection & shall never fade as long as I see it that way.
Head high.chin up. Standing Strong.
The boy wonder signing off
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Ode to the Nice Guys
I read this article and felt it needed to be shared...
Ode to the Nice Guys
This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal
This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.
The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.
Friday, April 30, 2010
How I like My Women
I made a reference on twitter the other to how I like my women. The analogy is simple, I like my women like I like my cars. Here is my top 10 Things I look for:
1. Dependable- Like anything else that is a regular in your life, I need both a car and a Woman to be there so you can look to them during times of need and be there in a pinch.
2. speed- Lets face it some females like to take their time and do things their pace. I need a girl who knows what needs to be done and takes care of it.
3.Durable- I have been told I can be rough around the edges at times. I need a car and a woman who can handle my.... aggressive handling
4. Silent but Deadly- Personally cars that you can hear from 3 Blocks away isn't cute. Same with a Woman. Be able to be heard when need be but not all the time.
5. Shoes have to match the Body- Ever see a Mini Van with 23 Inch Rims and it leaves you looking confused??? If you a Woman who Can't Walk in Heels Properly... I CAN NOT deal with you... Sorry
6. Multiple Roles- I need a car that can be a mode of transportation, a temporary bed, a dining room and my "me time" space. I need a woman who can be a Lady in the street and... You know the rest
7. Cost Effective- Some cars are beautiful and turn on the drop of the dime but one thing goes wrong and you need 6 jobs just to fix it. I need a car that keeps money in my pocket and still Great to Ride around in.
8.Comfort- If I cant sit down for more then 10 minutes... There is a problem
9.Great Guide- No one is perfect. We all get lost and mixed up sometimes
10. Look DAMN Good In all Black- Enough Said...
1. Dependable- Like anything else that is a regular in your life, I need both a car and a Woman to be there so you can look to them during times of need and be there in a pinch.
2. speed- Lets face it some females like to take their time and do things their pace. I need a girl who knows what needs to be done and takes care of it.
3.Durable- I have been told I can be rough around the edges at times. I need a car and a woman who can handle my.... aggressive handling
4. Silent but Deadly- Personally cars that you can hear from 3 Blocks away isn't cute. Same with a Woman. Be able to be heard when need be but not all the time.
5. Shoes have to match the Body- Ever see a Mini Van with 23 Inch Rims and it leaves you looking confused??? If you a Woman who Can't Walk in Heels Properly... I CAN NOT deal with you... Sorry
6. Multiple Roles- I need a car that can be a mode of transportation, a temporary bed, a dining room and my "me time" space. I need a woman who can be a Lady in the street and... You know the rest
7. Cost Effective- Some cars are beautiful and turn on the drop of the dime but one thing goes wrong and you need 6 jobs just to fix it. I need a car that keeps money in my pocket and still Great to Ride around in.
8.Comfort- If I cant sit down for more then 10 minutes... There is a problem
9.Great Guide- No one is perfect. We all get lost and mixed up sometimes
10. Look DAMN Good In all Black- Enough Said...
Friday, April 9, 2010
A letter To Myself
Dear Self,
People always tell me "J, You got the Good Life"
"J you Know everybody, What 's Going down tonight???"
"J I kow you hitting that..."
What do people really know? They know only what I show them and what they speculate based off the average male in my postion would strive towards.
That would tally up to sex, partying, sex, making tons of money... Did i Mention Sex?
I am sick and tired of people no longer looking to see who I am and just seeing who they want to see.
I and sick and tired of people assumin I am Perfect.
I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I just find myself just wanting to slow down life for a brief moment. Sex i sa game too many people are willing to play and it doesnt excite me as much as it did before.
It thrown out there left and right and the seduction and taboo of it is lost.
If I wanted I could take every offer that was presented to me and add notches to my belt...
But Would be the point? Where would be the fun in that? There is no chase... No mystery... No seduction.
It has been a year since I made choices in my life that were rather drastic and changed my life style for the better.
I have been through so many experiences, seen so many things, done so many crazy and outlandish things and made some memoriable irresponsible choices.
I have enjoyed every second of it... But I sit here now thinking to myself...
Wondering if I have hit my ceiling.. If there is nothing more to challange me.
I look for the chase and thrill but I can't seem to find it.
Been there, Done that. I am 20 yrs old and I have done more things and been in more places in one month then many have done in their lifetimes.
I have gathered Random Facts and watched as people worked their lives away worrying about supporting an unknown future.
That is not me. A tie and a cube isn't where I belong.
I belong out in the world, Feet to pavement making moves and living in the action slowing down only when buisness needs to be handled. When I do slow doen it feels as if there is something out there waiting for me so it can happen.
I feel like an addict looking for a way out. I feel drawn to make it to the next level, to feel accomplished,to do what isn't expected of me and actually make something of myself.
Do I Really want to though?
...
Do I want to grow up and be responsible?
......
Do I want to be the guy with the nice house, car and job???
Because with that comes stress, Headaches and pressure. Do I Really want to take that next step to that new level or Just cruise as I am?
Just bullshit through the Rest of College and stay under the radar as I have become accustom to... Above the level of loser... but under the level of a celebrity... Just that guy who is there and everyone Loves and Knows...
What Do I do???
Signed,
A man Lost In a Sea of Questions
People always tell me "J, You got the Good Life"
"J you Know everybody, What 's Going down tonight???"
"J I kow you hitting that..."
What do people really know? They know only what I show them and what they speculate based off the average male in my postion would strive towards.
That would tally up to sex, partying, sex, making tons of money... Did i Mention Sex?
I am sick and tired of people no longer looking to see who I am and just seeing who they want to see.
I and sick and tired of people assumin I am Perfect.
I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I just find myself just wanting to slow down life for a brief moment. Sex i sa game too many people are willing to play and it doesnt excite me as much as it did before.
It thrown out there left and right and the seduction and taboo of it is lost.
If I wanted I could take every offer that was presented to me and add notches to my belt...
But Would be the point? Where would be the fun in that? There is no chase... No mystery... No seduction.
It has been a year since I made choices in my life that were rather drastic and changed my life style for the better.
I have been through so many experiences, seen so many things, done so many crazy and outlandish things and made some memoriable irresponsible choices.
I have enjoyed every second of it... But I sit here now thinking to myself...
Wondering if I have hit my ceiling.. If there is nothing more to challange me.
I look for the chase and thrill but I can't seem to find it.
Been there, Done that. I am 20 yrs old and I have done more things and been in more places in one month then many have done in their lifetimes.
I have gathered Random Facts and watched as people worked their lives away worrying about supporting an unknown future.
That is not me. A tie and a cube isn't where I belong.
I belong out in the world, Feet to pavement making moves and living in the action slowing down only when buisness needs to be handled. When I do slow doen it feels as if there is something out there waiting for me so it can happen.
I feel like an addict looking for a way out. I feel drawn to make it to the next level, to feel accomplished,to do what isn't expected of me and actually make something of myself.
Do I Really want to though?
...
Do I want to grow up and be responsible?
......
Do I want to be the guy with the nice house, car and job???
Because with that comes stress, Headaches and pressure. Do I Really want to take that next step to that new level or Just cruise as I am?
Just bullshit through the Rest of College and stay under the radar as I have become accustom to... Above the level of loser... but under the level of a celebrity... Just that guy who is there and everyone Loves and Knows...
What Do I do???
Signed,
A man Lost In a Sea of Questions
Saturday, January 23, 2010
What we all think
Its a New year...
New thoughts, new views of life, New people to influence you. I recently went to an open mic Performance in the beautiful city of New York and on the way home i wrote this... I was inspired by a young woman who started off her poem with the most honest words I have ever heard spoken aloud...
Fuck me..
So because of these words I wrote this, It is entitled
'What We All Think':
Those eyes...
They stare at from across the room. Giving that look to often seen and too often felt on the back of my neck.
This feeling is unbearable like your taking a needle and digging away trying to severe my brain from the stem of my backbone.
I gaze back with a sense of Questioning... Why me? Why now?
Is it not the 21st Century and people should speak freely of the feelings... Rather you stand at the End of the Train car glancing at me wondering...
As I sit through this ride, I open up my eyes and I peer into yours as our Minds unconciously intertwine and the thoughts of the imaginable play stop and rewind and play 3 times over and then both look away and sigh wondering what if...
As you walk past me in the mall as I eat my food in silence do you past me looking the way you do. I stop for a moment and you smirk as you look at me while turn your hips toward me and they hit into position so sharp that its like a shot pointed at me and I feel all at once the things I would do if I ever got my hands on Caramel non-sprayed natural tan.
So what would you do if I looking like a well off man instead of a hoodlum ever approached. Would you scream how you really feel? Or would I be another Black with Locks up in your face saying the same old shit... Or would look at each others Face and say what we both really want to say...
"Trying to fuck???"
-Shocking words from the Boy Wonder signing off...
New thoughts, new views of life, New people to influence you. I recently went to an open mic Performance in the beautiful city of New York and on the way home i wrote this... I was inspired by a young woman who started off her poem with the most honest words I have ever heard spoken aloud...
Fuck me..
So because of these words I wrote this, It is entitled
'What We All Think':
Those eyes...
They stare at from across the room. Giving that look to often seen and too often felt on the back of my neck.
This feeling is unbearable like your taking a needle and digging away trying to severe my brain from the stem of my backbone.
I gaze back with a sense of Questioning... Why me? Why now?
Is it not the 21st Century and people should speak freely of the feelings... Rather you stand at the End of the Train car glancing at me wondering...
As I sit through this ride, I open up my eyes and I peer into yours as our Minds unconciously intertwine and the thoughts of the imaginable play stop and rewind and play 3 times over and then both look away and sigh wondering what if...
As you walk past me in the mall as I eat my food in silence do you past me looking the way you do. I stop for a moment and you smirk as you look at me while turn your hips toward me and they hit into position so sharp that its like a shot pointed at me and I feel all at once the things I would do if I ever got my hands on Caramel non-sprayed natural tan.
So what would you do if I looking like a well off man instead of a hoodlum ever approached. Would you scream how you really feel? Or would I be another Black with Locks up in your face saying the same old shit... Or would look at each others Face and say what we both really want to say...
"Trying to fuck???"
-Shocking words from the Boy Wonder signing off...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
